


Running from

by Binturong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, M/M, Pre-Series, Unwanted Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Binturong/pseuds/Binturong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt: How Sam ended up running away to Stanford (because of all the inappropriate brother-luvin' feels)</p><p>I went more toward feelings than any physical interaction. In fact, there is none of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Running from

Sam and Dean have always been together. They always knew there was something more between them than just brotherhood and friendship, but it took them a long time to realize it. Dean recognized it for what it was first, and he did everything he could to run from it- to keep Sam from figuring it out too. He was so happy when Dad finally let him come hunt with him, because not only did he love spending time with him and showing him how helpful he could be, he also spent less and less time alone with Sammy. It hurt being away so much,but it was easy to ignore it when he was with Dad. Dad, who he had to hide these things from. Dad, who could make anything seem okay. Dad, who would probably kill him if he found out about the way he felt about his little brother. Dad, who would blame himself. Being with him was almost as hard as being away from Sam.

It didn’t matter, though. All of Dean’s precaution was pointless. Sam was always more in touch with his feelings than Dean, and he figured it out for himself despite all of his brother’s efforts. Sam understood what his brother was doing. He understood why Dean was doing what he was doing, but that didn’t make him feel any better. He loved Dean, and seeing him struggle so hard when it was so unnecessary was difficult, to say the least. He almost told him a few times, but he knew better. Dean was afraid of his feelings, he was scared to find out what might happen, and even more afraid of disappointing Dad. So he let Dean bury it down deep, and he tried to too.

It turned out to be far more difficult than Sam had imagined, and the way things were with Dad only made it harder. As he got older, he realized more and more how messed up it was that he felt the way he did about his brother. He realized it was also ridiculous to have ever assumed that Dean felt the same way. How could they both be that fucked up? He tried so hard to be normal, but Dad made it almost impossible. He argued with him more and more, and as his self loathing grew, it seemed that he could see it reflected back in his father’s eyes. So he ran. He ran in a much more literal sense than Dean ever could. He left both of them and went to college to find his dream of a normal life.


End file.
